Prank Day in Konoha
by Lionasha No Bruja
Summary: Various shinobi of the Leaf are being mysteriously pranked. Who's doing it, and why is there a chicken on Sasuke's head? Will they catch the culprit? Will Tsunade ever get her sake back? Will sanity ever return to Konoha? Probably not.
1. To Do List

These guys take themselves too seriously. The Naruto world needs a Prank Day. And on Prank Day someone sufficiently resourceful and mischievous could...

Team 7

1. Cause Naruto to be unable to find any ramen, no matter where or how hard he looks.

2. Complete Sasuke's "Chicken Ass" hairstyle by affixing an actual chicken to his head.

3. Every time Sakura starts screeching or hitting someone for no reason, cause her to suddenly blush and pass out.

4. Turn all Kakashi's porn into yaoi.

Team 10

1. Cause everything Chouji tries to eat to turn into carrots and celery.

2. Supply tracking devices to Shikamaru's mom, Tsunade, Ino, Temari and Sakura so they can find him no matter where he hides.

3. Replace Ino's entire wardrobe with clothing from Shino, Naruto and Rock Lee. She'd be unable to modify them or get any other clothing.

4. Replace all of Asuma's cigarettes with joints full o'cannabis.

Team 8

1. Cause Kiba's sense of smell to malfunction so that he can't smell anything but Naruto all day.

2. If all Shino's wardrobe is in Ino's posession, obviously he'll have to wear Ino's clothes. He'd be unable to modify them or acquire any other clothing.

3. Cause Hinata to manifest her own version of 'Inner Sakura' whenever she gets embarrassed, instead of the usual blushing and fainting.

4. Replace Kurenai's usual 'looks like paper towels' dress with actual paper towels- and then make it rain.

Team Gai

1. Braid Neji's hair. A LOT of braids. Intricate ones. With bows. And beads. And maybe some glitter.

2. Cause Tenten's hair to refuse to stay up in those buns, no matter hard she tries.

3. Anytime Rock Lee tries to train, cause a random ninjutsu or genjutsu to occur in his close vicinity.

4. Anytime Gai says anything about "springtime" or "youth", cause his green suit to become pink assless chaps.

The Sand Siblings

1. Turn all of Gaara's sand into glitter.

2. Cause Kankuro's puppets to molest him whenever he tries to use them.

3. Cause Temari's fan to blow her clothing off whenever she tries to use it.

Various Others

- Each time Tsunade attempts to drink sake, turn it into any other random beverage.

- Anytime Shizune gets too stressed, cause Tonton to have digestive problems. On her feet. Relax, Shizune!

- Every time Hanabi tries to use Jyuuken, cause her to giggle uncontrollably. Ooh, and maybe blush a lot.

- Turn all of Genma's senbons into candy canes.

- Cause Sai to be relentlessly pursued by a mob of art-loving fangirls. And fanboys.

- Every time Yamato uses his bloodline, cause him to spontaneously get wood.

-Hinata's father, the Hyuuga clan head, will sprout pretty pigtails with pink bows that will not come out. Ever. Also, all Caged Bird seals will turn into sparkly heart designs.

-Cause Anko's trenchcoat to malfunction and refuse to magically stay closed. She'll either have to wear a real shirt or walk around flashing the whole village. Oh the poor innocent children...

- Cause Jiraiya to turn into a toad every time he hits on a woman. Cause him to be _eaten_ by a toad every time he peeps on a woman.


	2. Prologue: Naruto

Chapter 1: Naruto

The sun was warm. The birds were singing. And the peace of a drowsy Konoha afternoon was abruptly blasted to smithereens by a frantic orange blur tearing down the street. Dazed pedestrians would later report hearing a shriek that sounded something like "NOOOOOO! NO RAMEN!" Every single noodle stand in the city had found their supplies mysteriously vanished that day, from Ichiraku's to the street vendors, and it didn't take long for Konoha to realize that an Uzumaki Naruto without ramen was an hysterical mess of a ninja. He was barred from missions for the day, as Kakashi'd found him in his apartment, trying to boil shoelaces in broth, gibbering to himself about finally getting his lovely ramen.

Sadly, no one could be spared to help Naruto find his sacred noodles that day- for some reason, many of Konoha's prominent ninjas had been pranked, and hard. Many tried to refuse to go out in public, claiming their genin teams were suffering as well. Tsunade, however, was showing no mercy. Many of her ninja noted that she was in a more-foul-than-usual mood herself that day as she passed out D-ranks with ruthless disregard for pain and anguish.

Everyone's first thought had been to seek out Konoha's Unpredictable Number-One Knucklehead Ninja (and prankster king), but finding him holed up in his apartment mumbling "Miso, beef, pork, seafood, vegetable, Naruto speciaaaaaaal... where have you all gone?" like a mantra had convinced the various disheveled shinobi that their favorite scapegoat had been victimized right along with them.

Later, historians would claim it was "sheer, dumb luck" that enemy ninja hadn't invaded the village, as in the chaos caused by 'Prank Day', they wouldn't have had enough effective shinobi to repel a squad of Academy-fresh genin. As it was, the remants of that would serve as a reminder to the village that a sense of humor can be a very effective weapon.


	3. Sasuke

Chapter 2: Sasuke

Uchiha Sasuke woke up that morning convinced that it would be a normal day. He'd train, brood, snub Sakura and insult the dead-last, train more, eat some tomatoes and go to sleep. That was his daily routine, it served him well, and he saw no reason why today should be different.

This viewpoint lasted approximately three seconds after waking, as he sat up feeling an unfamiliar weight on his head. He shook his head tentatively, trying to dislodge whatever it was. No dice- the thing was quite firmly on there. He reached up to feel... feathers?

Sasuke had no idea what was going on, but he was an Uchiha. He would not run around flailing like Naruto would. He would look in the mirror and deal with the... chicken. A chicken. There was a chicken attached to his head! There was a CHICKEN! On his HEAD!

Sasuke wasn't deaf, and while he was widely admired within the village there would always be jealous fools who couldn't handle the innate superiority of Uchiha. He'd heard jibes at his clothing, his attitude, his fighting style, and his hair. He was aware that some of the Leaf genin- mostly males envious of his fan club- insisted that his hair looked like the south end of a north-facing chicken. He'd always dismissed such insults from petty fools as beneath his notice. Perhaps, he thought, looking at the softly clucking chicken stuck to his head, he should have paid more attention.

He considered his options. Staying inside his house was the most immediately attractive one, but ultimately impractical. His team would be expecting him for training soon, and if Sasuke wasn't there by the time Kakashi-sensei showed up, he knew a visit from the one-eyed jounin would soon follow. Also, he had no idea how the farm bird had gotten stuck to his skull- it'd been definitively free of fowl when he'd gone to bed last night. Given the skill level shown by sneaking into his bedroom in the Uchiha compound without waking him up or setting off his traps while completing this... prank, it was unlikely the bird would spontaneously detach itself from him anytime soon. It also made it unlikely that the perpetrator was Naruto, as the dead-last could never manage that level of stealth- not to mention this unknown sticking jutsu. This made his second most attractive option- hunt Naruto down and Grand Fireball him into the hospital- also impractical. Fun, but impractical. Maybe Tsunade would know what to. He'd go to the Hokage and explain things, and hopefully she could deal with this little problem before he was too late for training. He sighed and headed out.

Along the way, he tried to stay hidden but his focus was disturbed by the number of strange goings-on in the village. It seemed he was not the only shinobi to be visited by this mysterious assailant. He saw a flash of Ino's distinctive purple uniform on someone decidedly not Ino... and decidedly not female. He saw Sarutobi Asuma sitting inside the yakitori place as he passed it- the usually calm jounin giggling like Kakashi and out-eating a very cranky-looking Chouji. What that was about, he wasn't sure. And he saw what looked like Team Gai... except, he decided, he must have been mistaken, because that couldn't possibly be Hyuuga Neji with them. Must be a different team... with a couple of oddly subdued green-clad idiots.

As he made his way up to the Kokage's office, now unable to hide, he did his best to ignore the stares, whispers, and choked laughter he left in his wake. He was Uchiha, he would remain calm. As he entered the office, he was forced to duck to avoid the hapless Chuunin that flew through the door, courtesy of Air Tsunade, who was shouting loud enough to be heard in Suna. "I DON'T CARE! BRING ME ANOTHER BOTTLE! One that isn't mislabeled this time, dammit!"  
Ignoring this strange outburst, and also ignoring Shizune's odd behavior as she glared at the pig crouched shamefully at her feet, he prepared his very reasonable request.  
"Hokage-sama, I seem to have a problem-"  
"You have more than just **a** problem, Uchiha, but if you're talking about the bird on your head, I can't help you." She didn't look terribly saddened by that.  
"Wh-what? But why NOT?" he yowled, forgetting to be calm and reasonable.  
"You think you're the only person who's come to me this morning with a 'problem'? I've had half a dozen ninja in here so far who've had some kind of prank pulled on them. Unfortunately, as they aren't medical issues, I can't do much. The perptrator is unknown, and while I have ANBU investigating, my hands are tied- at least until we find whoever's responsible for this." Tsunade paused to glare at the small white bottle on her desk. Maybe it was that time of the month when women glowered at random things. He forced himself to focus.  
"Some of these things are being accomplished with seals we've never seen before. We've called Jiraiya in, but he's sent a toad back saying he's run into some personal issues and will be there as soon as he can. He's not far out of town; it's possible the Mystery Prankster got to him too. I've sent an ANBU to check on him- and to get blackmail material if possible," smirked the busty blonde.  
"For now, Sasuke, you will go join your team for training, and I expect to see you all here for your daily mission at the appointed hour. Is that clear?"  
"Yes, Hokage-sama," he responded automatically, his insides tightening in something like dread. He'd have to go outside. Find his team. Be seen by people all day long. With a chicken on his head. He took comfort in the thought that his day couldn't get much worse from there (he was wrong).

He left the tower with his head held high, determined to present a brave face to the village, albeit one topped by a chicken. He could do this. He could handle this, and be strong, and... "Sasuke? Wh-wh-wh-" Thump. His teammate Sakura, one of Konoha's unstoppable 'steamroller' fangirls, had just fainted at the sight of him before she could get a sentence out. He winced- that couldn't bode well. He couldn't just leave her there, either- they were due to meet for training soon. He would have to carry her to the training grounds. In public. With... his current hairstyle.

There were times, he admitted, when the dignified attitude befitting the last scion of Konoha's most powerful clan could be a bit... trying. Right now, he really, really wanted to flail around screaming like Naruto would.


End file.
